An understanding of will - Part 1

Willpower is illusive. In essence, it would be something that you don’t encounter unless you see an extreme. Someone going through insane hardships to make ends meet, a mother lifting a car up to save her child, people struggling through all odds to escape oppression. But in real life, sometimes you encounter people like that. Ones that have lived entire lives with the ability to drag through. Hell, high water or drought. They will pull through anything. The question of course, is.. how? How can someone pull through being a 95 year old grandmother with every last living direct family member having passed on; in the last decade? How can one push through holding their husband, their child, their siblings as they took their final breath? It truly shows how strong we are , when we want to be.

Willpower is fleeting, yet all pervasive. Sometimes it only lasts for a few moments. Sometimes it lasts for years. Sometimes it is that frantic burst of energy we get to clean our rooms and get our life straight at 3 am when we cannot sleep. Other times, it is people working towards a common goal for years on end, building schools, cities, empires. How do any of these people prevail through ages of discomfort, misery, pain and what would seem like an inhuman amount of suffering?

I think it boils down to a few core ideas. 1 - A reason For someone to get up at 6 am everyday to go for a run, there must be a reason. Without one, they are not better than a caged animal pacing around. Be it making a difference in someones lives, or as penance, or as a way of redeeming something that was lost. These are motives we hear all around us. But there are other, more subtle motives that show up from time to time. One persons dream of bringing their poor parents into a new home. Another person’s dream of building a school for women who were never given a chance to learn. Another of providing wartime health services. All of them have something in common - emotion. Long, deep, slow. An ache that must be massaged. 2 - Challenges Through time immemorial, we have never faced a lack of problems. Most people wait for someone to solve them, some try and some others succeed. Through all of these stories, we see that most of these people were not exactly taught the hardcore perseverance that they show. Some had it beaten into them, others had no choice but to get their shit together, others were running from something they were too scared to face. 3 - Beliefs At the end of the day, we are the sum of our thoughts. The first time you realise, just how much your life is influenced by your perspective on life, it changes you. There are people who are not willing to believe that they would lie down and let their fate drag them. You see people like this, they stick out like a sore thumb. You know people like this, maybe a grandmother who faced war and famine but still is the nicest person you know. Or a parent, who against all odds, raised healthy and successful children. Or even a friend, who went against everyone and everything to pursue a career nobody approved of. 4 - Consistency The person who wakes up at 6 am and goes for a run everyday, would be hard pressed to be eating chips the minute they wake up. But if they let themselves go for long enough, the efforts of years of discipline is lost. It is truly strange if you think about it isn’t it?

From these ideas, what can we think of that will make us… mentally stronger over time? If you start looking, you will find countless pieces of text that try to answer this question. This particular article does not aim to be more definitive than any that preceded it, but collects the stories the author has had the fortune of hearing.

1 - Do something hard every day. 2 - Document your day, to yourself, honestly. Keep a journal. 3 - Find a few things that truly matter to you. Be it a sunset, or people, or that book you’ve been reading. Beware though, that this will change in time. You will not have the same thoughts forever. What you like and care about will change. The point is to just have something that matters. 4 - Discipline really does matter. In times where sticking to a routine does not really seem feasible, look at the tiny things that you do. Did you tuck in your blanket? Drink water right after you wake up? Light a candle? Wind down? In times where all else fails, these little things give you the sanity that you would not find otherwise. Look inside, you will find your own little routine. 5 - Being part of a community. We need people. Hopefully some of those people need us too. It also helps if those people share a hobby with you. 6 - Finding the joy in the little things. It goes a long way. Sometimes a warm bowl of soup gives you the motivation to continue. 7 - Light your own candles. If you keep waiting, they will just remain dark and cold. 8 - Give yourself a little reward, if you can. If you learn to love the hardships, then you can be better at facing them 9 - Learning some form of meditation or prayer seems to help tremendously.