What I Learnt About Myself the Past Two Years

• Irrational rage with task interruptions : probably because I am not sure if I can come back to the task now or ever, or how long the interruption will last.
• Being told to do things right when I am just about to do them makes me feel like control is being taken away from me. And since I barely have control usually, that just frustrates me a lot.
• Cleaning is hard because it feels like a big thing. This could be also similar with things I suck at, and the energy cost for it is crazy.
• If I clean everything, the next time I have to do it, it feels like it’s a brand new task. And brand new tasks take a lot of energy
• I always only do upto 80$ of something. Just by this point if I knew about ADHD as a kid I would have been diagnosed already.
• I am slowly learning that masking does take a lot of energy, and when I don’t have it it pisses me off
• When I get hungry my ADHD is at max
• ADHD is not really about not being able to focus but more of being unable to regulate it
• If I change the food I want slightly then it makes it a looot better. Even if that means adding some tiny sauce to it
• Exercise REALLY helps
• Sometimes simple things that you don’t consider to solve anything solves anything : like the breathe right nasal strips?
• Showers help me regulate
• I love running, a lot
• Travelling on trains is not bad if I take care of noise and have something to do
• If I plan my day before doing anything or have something to look forward to, it really helps
• Long conversations are also fine if I am drawing or have something to regulate my emotions
• Low energy people are so nice to be around though. Esp other neurodivergent people. Gods.
• I have more friends than I think I do
• People love talking about things they care about. I asked Manon for running shoe recs and it’s one of her special interests apparently
• I get angry a lot because I feel like my boundaries are being crossed but I have grown up ignoring them
• Mayu needs space in between things like space when she comes back home.
• Mom likes to talk and she does not super care if someone pays that much attention but atleast cares enough to give her some attention. Makes sense right?
• I dont actually hate TV. I just need something else on the side to regulate because my empathy kicks in a lot of times
• I sometimes get too much input from things and then need to take some of it out. Like write something, draw something whatever
• If I start getting annoyed with something that I love, it means that I probably hyperfocuses the absolute shit out and should probably give myself a break before it gets too much
• I have learnt how to identify when my energy is low
• Meditation is hard but the count backwards from X with 3 repeats of X per breath is the best
• Mom really does have ADHD. No wonder she switches topics three times in every sentence